i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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