trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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