Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
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