My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
