I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
