That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize