white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
