Buhtt sex?
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
