So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
