My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize