just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
