I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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