He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
