My boss' voice literally gives me gas
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
