She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
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