Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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