no, he came in my armpit
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Randomize
