I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
That accounts for only three of the penises
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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