Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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