Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
