If you die in college, do you die in real life?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
