youre lurking in front of me
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
