I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
