We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Small penises have feelings too.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
