ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Randomize
