i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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