we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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