I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
