Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
