all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i used baking grease as lip gloss
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I'm at about main and main street
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
