Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
