He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
