tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
