just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
