I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
