Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
