i think i have herpe
just one?
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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