just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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