i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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