I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
