She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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