to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Randomize
