Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
