I accidentally burped into my bong.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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