What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
