omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
