oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
The beer is more important than you right now.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
