we're blogging at a bar
You made me cry and you don't even care
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
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