My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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