I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
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