So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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