I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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