If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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