who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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