I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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