Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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