If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
