He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Randomize
