R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
