Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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