I'm lost and stupid without you.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Alive.
So much puke
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
