He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
