ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
false alarm, still single
Randomize
