i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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