zippers are such a cool invention
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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