I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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