complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize